Wednesday, April 18th, 2012

'I feel love more than you think'

Autistic woman gives listeners insights into living with the misunderstandings of disorder

By William Kincaid
Photo by William Kincaid/The Daily Standard

Sondra Williams of Columbus shares her experience of living with autism to a crowd at St. John Lutheran Church, Celina, on Tuesday. Afterward, parents of children with autism asked questions about medication, behavior techniques and associated ailments.

CELINA - Sondra Williams does not suffer from autism - she suffers from society's misunderstanding of the disorder.
"Autism is not who I am in life," Williams, of Columbus, told a crowd at St. John Lutheran Church on Tuesday night while presenting "Define Me: A Personal View of the Gifts and Challenges Autism Brings." The event was sponsored by ARC of Ohio in Mercer County.
Williams, who is married and has four children diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, tried to convey in a few hours the complex and multifaceted disorder.
"I do know and feel love more than you think," she read from a poem she wrote.
For Williams, autism has caused an uneven development of self, not necessarily an intellectual impairment, she said. She has relied on scripts - certain words, phrases, sentences that hold meaning to people without autism - and medicine to facilitate better speech.
Williams said though she has struggled with her own identity - often feeing fragmented - she has a human form, experiences emotions, has dreams and goals and expresses herself in poetry and other artistic ways.
"I assure you that I feel," she said, explaining others often don't recognize her humanness.
Each person on the autism spectrum has his or her own unique sets of challenges, Williams said. Children and adults with autism should not be perceived as disabled but considered people with potential and intellectual ability.
"Autism is a barrier from my world to yours," she said, adding she explores the world in her own way.
The idea of a cure for autism - a means of changing, fixing or imposing an outside belief system - frightens Williams. She interprets such possibilities as a means to extinguish identities and make certain people act "normal."
Too often people with autism are perceived as lumps of autism, not personalities, she said.
But that doesn't mean Williams doesn't want to be healthier, especially with biomedical and autoimmune issues accompanying autism.
"I have to learn to live with what I got," she said.
Williams has difficulty making sense of social cues and often misinterprets the way words are used by perceiving them literally. Autism affects the way her brain processes information, she said.
"If I were blind, would you condemn me for not seeing?" she asked.
Williams also has an inability to recognize faces. Because of this facial blindness, she relies on certain markers for remembering people, taking note of accents, inflection and tone of voice and types of jewelry worn.
She has a deep love and concern for humanity but struggles understanding people as individuals. Some have asked how she can speak to crowds, to which Williams said it is because she is not interacting with people.
Williams finds females difficult to interpret as they can go through every emotion in the book in five minutes and have a secret, private language of eye cues and tilts of heads, she said.
"And I have no clue how they do that," she said, adding she finds women overwhelming.
Williams said her brain is like a computer: sometimes it gets stuck and can't retrieve scripts and pieces of information. Delayed processing can result in disconnected words dripping out a little at a time.
A misfire in her brain can produce an inappropriate emotional response and repetitive body movements - swaying and shaking - are common, she said.
But to her, those movements are involuntary - just like blinking her eyes or breathing, she said.
Additional online story on this date
FORT RECOVERY - Coldwater had to rally twice against Fort Recovery in Midwest Athletic Conference baseball action on Tuesday to pick up their first conference win of the season, a 6-5 triumph at the Indians' diamond. [More]
Subscriber and paid stories on this date
Mercer County Election Board
CELINA - Political subdivisions in Mercer County were charged $35,845 for November general election expenses, board of election members learned during a meeting Tuesday.
MINSTER - Road reconstruction has resumed with the return of spring weather, according to reports presented at Tuesday night's village council meeting.
ROCKFORD - Village workers soon will begin patching roads as a waterline replacement project wraps up.
Village administrator Jeff Long on Tuesday t
ROCKFORD - Another dominating pitching performance by Minster's Adam Niemeyer was aided by a four-run sixth inning and the Wildcats knocked off Parkway 4-0 on Tuesday in Midwest Athletic Conference baseball action in Rockford.
Local Track Roundup
Compiled by Gary R. Rasberry
St. Henry's track teams swept a four-team meet featuring Midwest Athletic Conference rivals Fort Recovery, New Bremen and New Knoxville on Tuesday afternoon at the Wally Post Athletic Complex.
Local Baseball, Softball and Tennis Roundup
Compiled by Gary R. Rasberry
Wapakoneta's Johnny Crawford held Celina to just four hits and the Redskins earned a 5-0 win over the Bulldogs in Western Buckeye League baseball action on Tuesday at Wapakoneta.
Compiled by Gary R. Rasberry
The Wright State University-Lake Campus' baseball team belted three home runs and improved to 9-1 in the Ohio Regional College Conference after a 13-1 five-inning win over Ohio State University-Lima on Tuesday afternoon in Lima.
CELINA - A new store is selling refurbished cell phones and laptops and new prepaid cell phones and computer accessories.
Mike Harris of Celina recently opened Cowboy Mike Electronics at 204 S. Sugar St., behind Paul's Mini Mall.
ST. MARYS - Some area business people are looking to launch a chapter of Business Networking International in the St. Marys area.
Jim Weghorst, exe